When Resistance Gives Way

31/01/21 14:00

I hope this finds you in a good place as we make our way through this collective human experience. I am grateful to have what I need to meet the challenges and thankful for the support I have both in real life and virtually. Who knew that video conferencing would become such a huge part of our lives? Due to the circumstances my extended family now meets every weekend for an hour to chat virtually from different cities. Why had we never thought of that before? On various different platforms, I've been able to continue my coaching, my recovery program, my fitness, my connection with colleagues from all across the continent and my online learning. My resistance to technology has been long-standing but this is stretching me to admit that connection is possible and potentially more inclusive when we can check into a virtual room from anywhere. I can't wait to be back in person with my family and colleagues but I want to continue the connection with my online communities that have become such a source of strength during this time.

Brené Brown launching her Unlocking Us podcast was another new arena for me. I have never understood podcasts. I am a visual learner and my favorite medium is reading. Books I understand and love. I had not explored podcasts and was resistant to what they could offer. I had no idea how many different kinds of podcasts there are and how entertaining and interesting they can be. I've now been introduced to an incredible array of artists, writers, activists, actors and other fascinating people interviewed by Brené. The bonus is that I've substantially added to my reading list and enjoyed multiple books from the authors she has interviewed to date. I have so many to recommend that I had no idea which one to highlight in this post.

Then I heard Billy Corgan from The Smashing Pumpkins being interviewed by Tom Powers on Q and the book choice became clear. So much of their conversation reminded me of Glennon Doyle's Untamed. I am not familiar with Corgan's music or his life other than knowing the name of his band. I found it fascinating though that the thread running through the interview was the same found in Doyle's book: how to live fully without being defined by others' expectations.

Both speak to truly being themselves and needing the freedom to choose in the moment. Billy Corgan said in the interview, "Don't tell me how to live, don't tell me who to be. I just want to be whoever I am. If I decide I want to be a cat one day, and a dog the next, that’s just who I am." Doyle writes, "I can do whatever I choose to do with my love and my body from year to year, moment to moment - because I'm a grown woman who does not need any excuse to live however I want to live and love whomever I want to love."

Also, they both touched on parenting while sharing that the most effective way to teach and lead our children is to live our own best lives. It was really fun to hear what Doyle wrote as a Mom being repeated by Corgan as a Dad. I loved having confirmation that the more I live my life from an honest acknowledgment of who I am, the more freedom it gives my children to follow their own path. Being ourselves improves our relationships because we are modelling to others that we accept them being themselves too.

Knowing who I am means I can accept that I am resistant to change, especially in the areas that take me out of my comfort zone, but that I am also teachable when the time is right. I can and do embrace new things. We can all adapt and shift and that is a good to know. I invite you to consider where you might be resistant and give yourself permission to explore something new to you.

You can check out both the Corgan interview and the Doyle podcast in the hyperlinks above. I would love to hear back from you if you can perceive the similarities yourself.