Perfectionism Begone - Fine, Lessened Will Do

16/01/22 10:00

I've spent the past few days procrastinating, and now 20 minutes staring at the blank page where these words get typed. I know I want to send a newsletter to share information and invite you to participate in groups that I think will support you, but I get stuck due to the voices in my head: you don't have enough content to inspire people. Other people send really great newsletters; don't bother. Avoid judgement - do nothing.

Perfectionism sucks.

I remember when my answer to an interviewer's question "What is something you struggle with?" was "I'm a bit of a perfectionist." Then I smiled like it was actually a strength. I thought it was a great answer because who wouldn't want to hire someone who works hard to do everything really well? The thing I wasn't aware of is that there's a huge difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence.

Brené Brown talks and writes a lot about perfectionism because she not only studies it extensively in relationship to shame, she struggles with it herself. She calls it the 20-ton shield we use to protect ourselves from being hurt by other people's opinions. I've spent the past 15 years actively shifting out of my perfectionist tendencies with 12-step work, therapy/coaching and a lot of self-help reading, and yet ... the slogan Progress not Perfection is very apt. I am but a human like all other humans doing the best I can.

Knowing and accepting that perfectionism shows up is the first step to healthier choices in our responses and behaviours. Catching ourselves when those negative voices show up so we can push past them is the goal. Write the blog, Lianne, and send it out. Most people will relate to it. And if they don't, that's ok too.

Having read all of Brené's books I know the theme of perfectionism shows up in all of them. You will see in this newsletter that I'm co-facilitating The Gifts of Imperfection™ with a colleague this month. It will be my 3rd time doing the work, although both previous times I was a participant. I still haven't completed a couple of the guideposts. Some are more challenging than others it seems! So if you are at all interested in joining the group, know that you will be among peers who struggle, including the facilitators. We'll all learn how to be more compassionate with ourselves as we DIG deep to find our authentic selves. We'll get Deliberate, get Inspired and get Going on the journey to wholeheartedness.

A final note regarding the picture above. Brené's new book Atlas of the Heart arrived in November 2021. I have started reading it and would LOVE to discuss it with others. If you are interested in joining a book club to go on "a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human," please send me an email at lianne@authenticity101.com. I look forward to creating a community where we can embrace our imperfections and share them with others in a courageous way.